To all the ships at sea

If I see one more walleyed lawyer doing a damages commercial about transvaginal mesh patches, I may throw something at my television. Yes, this is related to the subject line because I’m watching Message In a Bottle on TV and apparently only women are watching this movie because all of the commercials have to do with transvaginal mesh damages, household cleaning products, Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig. I wish this was an exaggeration but literally EVERY single commercial break has consisted of these four commercials.

I’m not a particular fan of Nicholas Sparks and I know we’re all meant to swoon over the very first letter from Garrett but I’ll admit that the letter which really resonates for me is the one from Catherine:

To all the ships at sea, and all the ports of call. To my family and to all friends and strangers. This is a message, and a prayer.

The message is that my travels taught me a great truth. I already had what
everyone is searching for and few ever find. The one person in the world who I was born to love forever.

A person, like me, of the outer banks and the blue Atlantic mystery. A person rich in simple treasures. Self-made. Self-taught. A harbor where I am forever home. And no wind, or trouble or even a little death can knock down this
house.

The prayer is that everyone in the world can know this kind of love and be healed by it. If my prayer is heard, there will be an erasing of all guilt and all regret and an end to all anger.

Please, God. Amen

Especially the bit about a little death. If your house can withstand that, you’ve built something good.

The Ohshitometer Pegged at 20

Let me tell you a story about crap tv. Not crap as in bad or terrible, but crap as in campy, melodramatic and awesome. One of those shows is Revenge, probably one of my favorite shows of the new season. But maybe the best crap show of all time – chock full of HOLY SHIT and OMG – with great pacing and clever writing is… The Vampire Diaries.

Yes. Really.

I remember when the show first started, I caught a couple of episodes and was pretty meh about it. It fell off my radar until right around the finale maybe? At that point, my lj buddy Roniabirk was HOLY SHITTING all over the place about how awesome it was (season 1? season 2? I feel like it was maybe season 2). At her urging, I went back and watched the entire season 2 including, no lie, one of the most holyshitterific finales I’ve seen and lo- the show made it onto my DVR queue this season.

It is one of my favorite shows because you literally never know what is going to happen. No one is safe. There is clever dialogue and age-appropriate pop culture references. There are (of course) pretty people (it IS the CW). It’s darkly funny and as previously mentioned, excellently paced. It is some of the most fun on TV.

That said, one of my other favorite things about this show is the recaps done by Jenny at Forever Young Adult, in no small part due to the ohshitometer which is possibly the best invention in television reviews of all time. Fair warning, that recap is for the most recent episode. The recaps are just as clever as the show, chock full of non-target-audience-age-appropriate pop culture references and a drinking game guide in every one.

So yeah. You should be watching. It’s about 10 million miles better than Grey’s Anatomy.

Work It is bullshit

And you know this from the jump because NEITHER of those dudes is hot enough in drag to get a pharma job.

Things I have loved this year – tv, apps, podcasts

I listened to A LOT of podcasts this year. It started with The Nerdist (which I still love) and led me to some comedy podcasts that I DIDN’T enjoy so much but ultimately I found Girl on Guy (Aisha Tyler) and Sklarbro Country (the Sklar brothers) which made up for any missteps. Episode 1 of Girl on Guy has, by far, the funniest story I have ever heard. The rest of her shows are right in my wheelhouse. She’s a chick who thinks like a dude and has wide-ranging interests and plenty of geek hobbies. And she’s funny. Sklarbro Country is a great combination of comedy and sports with impressive guests. I’m less enamored of their ‘celebrity call in’ segment but it’s toward the end so I usually just skip it.

I also love Pop Culture Happy Hour and Culturetopia from NPR. The former was a recommendation by my friend Mimi and it consistently makes me laugh.

Book podcasts! Bookrageous is a fave because it’s three friends talking about books and graphic novels they like and frequently trying to convince one another to read something they love. It’s been great and I got a couple of excellent recs out of it this year, not to mention it’s fun to listen to. Incidentally, I recommend Brews and Books (Josh’s blog) since it’s the way I found the podcast and I love his beer reviews. Books on the Nightstand is a little more polished but also gave me great reading ideas this year.

Sound Opinions from NPR was my go-to music podcast and I enjoyed every single episode.

The 404 was my geekcast of choice, as I have raved about before. Buzz Out Loud switched to once a week podcasts with special coverage episodes, which means I listened to it more than I would have expected.

Doug Loves Movies was, hands down, the funniest podcast I listened to all year. I could be seen laughing out loud at work REGULARLY while listening.

Android Apps:

Words with Friends. Do I really have to explain this? I was the kind of kid who learned to play Scrabble by making the coolest words we could- we didn’t keep score. Words with Friends has taught me strategy. I dig it.

Tweetcaster replaced Tweetdeck toward the end of the year because it’s got a great user interface and it does everything I want it to.

No Time to Cook by Real Simple is a great app and cost about the same as one issue of the magazine. Consistently delicious recipes. ChefTap I already raved about but I am still loving it and having lots of success.

Foursquare continues to be my default ‘travel’ app, with a side of OpenTable for getting reservations. My fave utilities are Springpad and OurGroceries. My calendar is Jorte, whose only fault as far as I can see is an inability to create bi-weekly events. Now that I work in an office with a radio, I understand and use Shazam.

Gentle Alarm is still the way I wake up and I still love it. Tea Timer has been great for making tea, the Starbucks app is great if you’ve got a Starbucks nearby (I no longer do) and the Eljay app has made my LJ flist mobile.

Tab Tools is a GREAT app for guitar tabs and my goal for the new year is to actually USE the Meditation Support Timer.

Greader and Gmail are on my homescreen with G+ and Tweetcaster. Password Card is the best thing for creating safe passwords on the go.

Dear Emergency Medical Spanish App – YOU ARE AWESOME.

Untappd is a recent addition which I’m playing with. Verdict is still out.

TV.

Dude. I watched A LOT of TV this year.

Tops on my list: Revenge, Justified, Homeland, Community, Castle, Sons of Anarchy, Once Upon a Time, Grimm, Criminal Minds, Modern Family, Ringer, The Mentalist and Covert Ops.

Whether it was brain candy (Revenge, Covert Ops, Grimm, Once Upon a Time, Ringer), interesting crime drama (Justified, Homeland, Sons of Anarchy, Castle) or comedy (everything else), this was the stuff that made me keep watching.

Revenge is campy, but awesomely so (and FYA does GREAT recaps), Covert Ops is slightly less campy but equally fun. I’m enjoying the modern takes on fairy tales and I loved the comedies. That said, if I was going to recommend something to everyone, it would be Homeland, Sons of Anarchy and Justified.

Homeland had tight and intense writing, focused storylines without a dozen hanging threads and some INCREDIBLE performances. Claire Danes better get an Emmy. Watching Sons of Anarchy is like a terrible accident – you know what’s probably going to happen, you can’t look away and then HOLY SHIT something else comes out of the blue – but so out of the blue that you disengage, you’re just pissed you didn’t see it coming. Justified has Timothy Olyphant so that’s 1. He’s a cowboy in Wild West sense of the word, so that’s 2. It’s got one of the most interesting fencesitting characters (is he good? is he terrible? does he even KNOW?) in Boyd Crowder that I’ve seen on television, so that’s 3. Add in the very specific kind of subculture that happens in rural areas and it’s engaging, thoughtful and consistently a wild ride.

So there you go. That’s my favorites roundup. My list of this year’s books is at Goodreads and I think I posted about MOST of them, so you should be able to click on the 2011 books tag on this post and get all the entries. At Goodreads the books are all listed chronologically. I’m hoping to get through a reread of some of the Dresden Files books this weekend so I can start catching up.

Homeland

The reason that Homeland was the best thing on TV this year is because nothing has looked at loyalty, patriotism, terrorism and personal identity like this since the BSG reboot. They’ve handled mental illness deftly and with not only compassion but sympathy. Claire Danes has been nothing short of brilliant and Damian Lewis predictably awesome. Unlike BSG, which put you in the position of empathizing with the “terrorists”, Homeland has taken a hard look at the reasons that people believe in extreme measures – on both sides. What is perfectly clear is that there is no black and white and that there are no absolutes when it comes to defending those beliefs. Both sides are wrong, both sides have valid points, both sides make colossal mistakes. Homeland has taken come intense and complex stories and unthreaded them in a compelling, edge-of-your-seat way. The finale was just as unexpected as every other episode and just as gripping. I can’t wait to see what they do with the next season.

Glee FAIL

I’ve been a bit lukewarm on the series since it resumed this fall and I’ve got to say that the First Time episode is chock full of What The MEH.

One. I am grossed out by the “girls have to want to have sex because it’s LURRRVE” rather than, yanno, to just FUCK. I would be less annoyed by this if it weren’t completely within Rachel Berry’s wheelhouse to be checking this off her To Do list but since she IS that girl, why can’t they let her BE that girl. Also? I NEVER met a dude who gave a DAMN why I wanted to have sex, he was on board from GO. So really, the character of Finn continues to be sixteen kinds of bullshit. Grr.

Sadly this has gone from a show that I really enjoyed watching to a show I find cumulatively more annoying, so it may be off my DVR list. Whatevs. More time for Gemma Teller.

Edited for OMFG YOU MUST BE KIDDING. “Losing something you can’t get back.” As though a FLAP OF SKIN decides your PERSONHOOD. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK. I am done with this show. Between this and making the evil asshole the only person besides Kurt to be a ‘sympathetic’ atheist, I’m just…I can’t… I don’t even know. Ridiculous.

Sons of Anarchy

Holy fucking SHIT, yo.

I can’t… I don’t even.

What is making me happy

1. I’m about to cut two hours of commute out of every workday. I get to wake up when it’s not dark. I’ll have time to WORK OUT before I leave for my job and a whole extra hour after work. I’m giddy with the potential in those two hours.

2. Books. I’m almost done with my 55 books I’m willing to talk about (my best estimate is that I’ve read about 100 books so far this year total) and I’ve found some that I thoroughly enjoyed and have recommended to others.

3. Yoga! I’ve got fun new yoga stuff around the corner.

4. Guitar! My class is almost over and I’ve learned A TON. I also picked up the free tabs app from Amazon the other day so I’ve got guitar notes for some of my all time favorite songs.

5. Google Plus. With the change away from Reader’s share function and the addition of business pages, I’ve got a lot more activity in my stream that is exactly the kind of stuff I want to read.

6. @ellenbarkin on twitter

7. The Walking Dead continues to kick ass, but I’m practically jumping OUT OF MY SKIN about tonight’s Sons of Anarchy.

8. Last night’s Castle was as Castle ever is – cheeky, clever fun. I can’t wait until I start my new job so that I can watch all of prime time TV during, you know, PRIME TIME.

9. Homeland is epic. Not only are Damien Lewis and Claire Danes amazing, the writing is tight and the storytelling is intense. I am loving this show.

10. Fairy tale TV. I was a huge fan of Grimm’s and Hans Christian Andersen growing up so both Grimm and Once Upon a Time are hitting all the right notes, albeit in very different ways. I found myself *looking forward* to OUaT this week. That hasn’t happened with a network show in a while.

Sunday update

Watching SNL’s weekend update and the Tyler Perry portion is reminding me of conversations with my friend Fatima. Funny.

I’m making chili today because it’s a perfect day for chili, football and beer. One of our friends is going to join us so I’m making an effort to get some homework done. We attended a beer tasting last night and let me say there are worse things to do on your weekend. In fact I may have to make a run to pick up some 1554.

We took a slight roadtrip to get lunch yesterday and I stumbled into an excellent hair cut. A lovely woman named Beverly gave me a spectacular cut for the rock-bottom price of $15. I may have found a new favorite place. Also, it doesn’t hurt to have an excuse to visit BV once a month for lunch with some friends. Accidental awesome is some of the best kind. She was also tickled to find out someone had left her a nice review on the internet so I made sure to leave her another on both Yelp and Google Places.

In TV news, I saw the Haven finale and HOLY SHIT that show impressed me ALL SEASON. It doesn’t hurt to have smoking hot leads but the writing has been tight and is continuing to make the overarcing mystery interesting rather than tired or played out. It’s one of my summer surprise favorites. If you want info on where to catch the episodes online, leave me a comment.

Sons of Anarchy is also kicking a lot of ass, as expected. It’s making me even more eager for the return of Justified and what I can only hope will be a season 2 marathon (as I haven’t seen it) before the Season 3 premier.

I’m stoked, by the way, that my Defying Gravity love posts inspired my friend mesoterica to check it out and that she loves it too. I may have to rewatch them AGAIN this week. Never have I been so tempted to write fanfic.

Books: The Night Circus is great so far and while I’ve stalled a bit on Wildwood, I have been enjoying it.

In movie news, watched Hanna and fucking loved it. Loved it.  Eric Bana is incredible and the whole movie is far better than the trailer.

2 Broke Girls

I had no intention of watching this show but the opening scene was a GRABBER and I laughed out LOUD. I kept watching because it was so outrageous I couldn’t figure out what they’d do to top it. Other than the kind of odd laugh track, it was a pretty funny show. I’ll probably even keep watching to see how it shakes out. Go Kat Denning!

Rants and (Potential) Raves – Fall TV

This is apropos of my setting up the DVR last night. Given my disappointment with some returning favorites this summer, it should probably not come as a surprise that I’m less than thrilled with the new fall TV lineup. This is good because I DO NOT NEED TO WATCH MORE TV.

Returning shows I won’t be watching:

Gray’s Anatomy. Really I’m not sure how I managed to gut it out this long but the honest to goodness dealbreaker was this chucked in at the end of the season plotline with Christina getting pregnant on accident AGAIN and the impending relationship fallout, with a side of Meredith’s general incompetence and her husband’s douchebaggery. I just… I can’t even.

I’m also pretty sure I’m done with Supernatural. They should have ended with their fifth season, as was the original plan. Don’t get me wrong, I think the fifth season was the weakest of the series but THAT’S why they should have ended it. A  last minute tacking on of another season can only mean DISASTER. I’m not sure I’ve got the patience for it.

House. I’m totally over the cranky doctor porn.

Keepers:

Castle. I’ve loved this show since it started and it hasn’t lost a thing. Clever, funny and great chemistry.

Criminal Minds. So. Good.

Modern Family. Hilarious. One of the funniest shows on TV.

NBC’s Thursday lineup (except Whitney) Got to get your laughs somewhere!

Justified. Yeah it’s not likely to start until the new year but DAMN this is a great show. I devoured season 1 on DVD and will be impatiently awaiting season 2. So fucking good it makes my head hurt.

The Mentalist – Straight up fun to watch. Patrick Jane is helping the police so that he can gleefully torture/murder the guy who killed his family and has admitted it to his boss. You have got to love a show that embraces a funny and clever guy who’s doing good so he can kill someone – and still make it FUN to watch.

On the fence:

NCIS. Here’s the thing. I LOVE so many of the actors on this show but last season just fell flat. It’s also reaching Law and Order saturation level with reruns.

Glee. I did not love most of last season. I LIKED it but I’m not sure that’s enough when there is truly great entertainment out there.

Chuck. I sort of wished they would have ended this with last season, though having heard Zachary Levi talk about it means it’ll probably get a 3 episode grace period.

New blood:

Unforgettable – I kind of dig Poppy Montgomery and I’m a sucker for crime procedurals

Ringer – Sarah Michelle Gellar, lots of actors I love with a caveat of CW. This could be brilliant or fucking terrible and will no likely languish in the middleground.

Revenge - The Count of Monte Cristo is my favorite book, therefore this should require no explanation

Prime Suspect – I am awaiting with equal parts excitement and trepidation. The original BBC production is amazing. I love Maria Bello. On the other hand, this is an American remake which could mean utter shit.

Once Upon a Time – Doesn’t premiere until October but I am REALLY hoping it doesn’t suck.

The Vampire Diaries – Not technically new as I’ve been watching it online but I’m adding it to my DVR. Pure pulpy horror goodness.

End result: I am still watching WAY too much TV. In my defense- I’m also working full time, going to school and reading books for fun so fuck it.

Week ending (books, tv, food)

This morning we started the day by watching the Food Network, which is never a good idea. Why? Because instead of relaxing at home, practicing guitar, doing homework or washing the dishes, you’re suddenly at the grocery store to buy ingredients for whatever was just on Paula Deen’s Best Dishes.

We had the Turkey Black Bean Burgers with Corn Salsa for lunch, accompanied by Lemony Slaw and with Chocolate Milkshakes for dessert. It was all delicious and all DIRECTLY from the tv show.

I finished The Very Thought of You the other day and I’ve been wrestling with how to talk about it. The cover is what first caught my attention and I was heartened by the description on Amazon (though I will admit to not reading the reviews) and I believe that I heard something about it on Books on the Nightstand. Then when the price dropped to $9.99, I bought it. I loved the book, even if I wouldn’t necessarily classify it as my typical fare. It’s a contemplative read, which doesn’t mean boring so much as nuanced, and an amazing story about love and complicated relationships in difficult times. It doesn’t have a barnburning pace but I found I had a hard time putting it down because I wanted to know where it went (which was, incidentally, thoroughly satisfying). My mission is now to find other people who have read it.

Speaking of love: I spent yesterday and today re-watching Defying Gravity which was a purchase with birthday money. It’s maybe the best series to never get a full first season in television and seeing it again just made me sad that shit like the Charlie’s Angels reboot is going to air and probably be wildly successful. I’m hoping that Ringer is going to satisfy my interesting/smart tv niche for the fall but it’s on the CW so my hope is limited. Defying Gravity was great because it was smart and touching and challenging about topics that make me unsurprised that it didn’t get picked up but is just so goddamn good that I bought the DVDs. It’s the kind of fiction I love.

State of Wonder and Supergods are both topping my wishlist currently but my $10 ceiling prohibits them. I’m going to settle for digging into Wildwood. If you want to see what else I’m interested in, the list is here. It’s not entirely up to date as I’ve taken to sending samples of the books I’m interested to my Kindle and using that as a list of sorts.

Today’s mistake

I’ve got several hours between work and my guitar class and, for the second week in a row, I have planned badly.

I should have brought my netbook (which shall evermore be known as ‘nanook’ thanks to my Droid’s autocorrect) but it would have meant a second trip back to the bedroom and I was running late. Instead I have lurked around town, listening to podcasts and reading a bit. This is important only because I especially appreciate how This American Life covered 9/11 and the reasons they have for doing so. It was exactly what I had hoped to see on television and hadn’t.

In tangentially related news, I called both of my favorite tech podcasts yesterday and got my voicemails played on both. I’m the neediest person you’ve never heard of.

In TV news, I watched Ringer. I kind of love all the actors and the general premise, but the execution is going to be key. I’m willing to wait and see.

Home Impairment Day

When I woke up this morning, I’d pinched something in my neck badly enough that I couldn’t turn my head. It might have been heavy lifting at work yesterday, or sleeping funny last night or – more likely- a combination of the two. At any rate, it didn’t seem wise to drive 45 miles over a mountain pass without the ability to turn my head and as a result I’m at home. Since we did a MAJOR housecleaning project last week, I find myself with nothing to do.

Said cleaning project even included the Disaster Room, also known as the room boxes go to die or never be opened or, once opened, never get sorted out and put in proper places. All of the aforementioned boxes were opened, sorted and (with the exception of the things we are donating)  have been sorted to their appropriate locations. I am very impressed with myself, which can only lead to bad things.

Since I’m at loose ends, I’ve put in the first disc of Justified and thought I’d catch up my reading list from vacation which required me to go back and see when the last book update was. It turns out it was Dreadnought and Little, Big and at some point I stopped using my ’2011 book list’ tag which was just dumb.

I’ll start with the most recent first, then.

The Raising by Laura Kasischke. I’d been eyeing this book for a while but it was still priced above my $9.99 threshold for the kindle (I just can’t see paying more than $10 for a book when the paperback is still going to cost $6-7). We happened to be in a Borders last week and I’d forgotten they were closing but I managed to find a couple of things (including this book) that I wanted to read that – shockingly- the 60% off price made reasonable. If you’re looking for why Borders went out of business, the APA style guide at 40% off was the same as Amazon’s REGULAR price.

The Raising is a ghost story, of sorts. Very atmospheric and and interesting plotline. I found that even though I predicted all of the turns and sometimes skimmed through the (what seemed to me unnecessarily) wordy parts, I REALLY liked the book. It’s the first time that’s happened that I can recall. It reminded me of the movie The Life Before Her Eyes and then, when perusing the information in the back of the book, lo and behold she wrote the book. So there you go. It’s a moody and langurous read, perfect for a hot and humid day. Sufficiently creepy and ominous and just in general a really good read.

The Dead and The Gone by Susan Beth Pfeffer is a YA book that I got for about $1 at Borders and it had an interesting premise- a meteor hits the moons and causes apocalyptic climate change on Earth (not to mention obliterating a fair chunk of each coast).

[interjection  from Justified "You want me to kill 'em or wing 'em?" "Let's start with wingin'." I already love this show.]

I liked The Dead and The Gone, I REALLY liked the premise, and while the descriptions and situations were pretty great it just fell kind of flat for me. Like describing the day in the life over and over but ultimately not really GETTING anywhere. So it was good and sufficiently apocalyptic but (for me) lacked forward momentum.

Magic Slays, Ilona Andrews. Another solid book in a series that I love. The main character gets to grow up a bit (about time) and the story and action are slam-bang. I am, as usual, looking forward to the next book in the series.

Poison, Sara Poole. I thought maybe I’d talked about this but it was a free Kindle read and I dug it. A young woman takes her father’s place as Borgia’s poisoner while she tries to find out who killed him (and does various deeds for Borgia as well). The opening is one of the best scenes I’ve read in a while.

The Monstrumologist, Rick Yancy. I kind of loved this. It’s a straight up monster book and if you like those, you’ll love this. It’s one of the first books I got on my Kindle and I can’t figure why I got around to it so late but it’s got a varied cast of creepy and inscrutable characters, a fantastic narrator, plenty of action, suspense and general creepiness. I had no idea it was part of a series when I got it but I’ll definitely be picking up the rest. Love.

Territory, Emma Bull. This was slow going for me to start, possibly because Westerns don’t generally grab me right off. This takes place not far from my stomping grounds (Leadville gets a shout out) and I’ve been to Tombstone. I like the alternate take and the depiction of Wyatt Earp (safe to say you won’t have seen this before) and I especially loved Doc Holliday. That said, the ending felt… short. Unresolved. And while I liked everything that came before, it just seemed like either it’s meant to be a series and leaving you wanting or just unfinished.

The Penelopiad, Margaret Atwood. I love Atwood. Really, I do. There are a handful of authors whose work I’ll pick up just because they wrote it and she’s one (Alice Hoffman, Robin McKinley, Carol O’Connell) . I love the concept of this book and the execution was just as great as you’d hope. While Ulysses got to adventure, Penelope was trapped with a hundred men who didn’t really want her but pretended to and she was holding out hope for the missing husband she loved. Hearing her side of the story is kind of brilliant.

Zoo City, Lauren Beukes. In a South Africa where magic has erupted in a peculiar way, giving those who commit crimes an animal to which they are bonded for life (Animalled, she calls it). The dialogue is snappy, the imagery is great, steamrolling action and the story is unique. I thoroughly enjoyed this.

I think that gets me caught up and I’m still on track for 55 this year.

In the meantime, I’m madly in love with Justified based on a single episode. This is amazing.

Sons of Anarchy FTW

TV can save your life.

This morning I got an email from my mom. Leaving aside the unlikelihood that it’s REAL, I’m going to copy and paste some of it:

While driving on a rural end of the roadway on Thursday morning, I saw an infant car seat on the side of the road with a blanket draped over it. For whatever reason, I did not stop, even though I had all kinds of thoughts running through my head.  But when I got to my destination, I called the Canton PD and they were going to check it out.  But, this is what the Police advised even before they went out there to check….“There are several things to be aware of …. gangs and thieves are now plotting different ways to get a person (mostly women) to stop their vehicle and get out of the car. “There is a gang initiation reported by the local Police Department where gangs are placing a car seat by the road…with a fake baby in it…waiting for a woman, of course, to stop and check on the abandoned baby. “Note that the location of this car seat is usually beside a wooded or grassy (field) area and the person — woman — will be dragged into the woods, beaten and raped, and usually left for dead.  If it’s a man, they’re usually beaten and robbed and maybe left for dead, too.