FrankenPiper recovers

In the first week of the new year, we found out Piper had cancer. Mast cell cancer, which is vastly to be preferred over the osteocarcoma that our dog Lola developed. This week Piper had surgery to remove three lumps and the vet couldn’t locate her lymph node which seems to make a good case for it not being involved. All the lumps were subcutaneous, so there was no cutting of muscle tissue.

Piper has drugs and has had humans home with her all day for the last couple of days, so it’s safe to say she’s not that unhappy in her current circumstances. In two weeks the staples come out and in the meantime she’s taken JUST FINE, thankyouverymuch, to using a step stool to get on our bed. Also, peanut butter and bacon treats.

Wide awake for no discernable reason

I hate that. But it’s why pharmaceutical companies make things like Ambien. Just waiting for it to kick in.

Today I picked up a tomato plant and a Topsy Turvy. I’m going to give it a go though Spouse is not confident. I generally forget to water things, so we’ll see how it goes.

I’ve got an unexpected trip to Avon later today. We also picked up a much-needed bookshelf for the living room. And it’s entirely possible that I’ve finalized the paint colors for the house. Not looking to start the paint project SOON but having the colors mapped out makes the project about half-done (in my head, anyhow). Not realistic but it FEELS good and that’s what counts.

Now I just have to determine if it’s better to edge the room before rolling paint on or vice versa. Also if I can freehand the top edges or maybe should use a piece of cardboard as a guide. Decisions!

Mom’s coming to visit over the 4th of July weekend! She’ll get to see Leadville sans snow! Probably not as fun as Boom Days (1st weekend in August) but I think something can be arranged. Possibly a little hiking.

I’ve got an extra lengthy work week this week (contrary to that of most) and while it should be busy, I also predict exhausting.

The short version

My lack of posting began shortly after we got an offer on our house back in Michigan, mostly because nearly all my free time was spent on the phone with either the mortgage company or Fannie Mae or the retirement people (we also had houseguests in there somewhere). The counteroffer which was accepted was considerably lower than what we’d paid for the house and we were pretty upside down on the mortgage. We applied for a short sale – where the bank accepts the offer and we all walk away clean – and it was mostly a nightmare. This experience has convinced me that we will never have functional health care.

I was told in not so many words by the folks at Fannie Mae that because our house wasn’t already in foreclosure, we weren’t a priority for help. This was, of course, ONLY after I had submitted my paperwork no less than three times in two weeks- because they kept saying they didn’t have it, even after a confirmation email from a specific employee on the 2nd occasion telling me he’d gotten it all. I’d made several phone calls and found exactly one helpful employee (the aforementioned dude). I DID have a spectacular runaround, including ONE employee who began to argue with me when I requested to speak to a supervisor. She was telling me why I wanted to speak to one and that they couldn’t help me. The third time, I finally said “I don’t CARE what you think, put a fucking SUPERVISOR on the phone.” Having done a shit phone job, I generally do not lose my temper with those folks. On the other hand, they don’t generally ARGUE.

Oddly, the supervisor was able to answer some questions. Which is when I found out that because we’d been responsible and kept paying our mortgage, we were going to take the entire shaft, sans lube, right in the ass. Thanks so much. If Fannie Mae can’t keep track of THEIR paperwork, we have NO HOPE of having a functional national healthcare system which – by definition – will require a much larger amount of paper and customer service.

We gave up on Fannie Mae after that and set about scraping together the funds needed to get the hell out from under the place. Paying two mortgages has NOT been fun. But someone bought it, I flew home to sign the paperwork and hand over the last of the keys, and we are now and forever shut of Saginaw, Michigan. We couldn’t be happier.

While in Michigan I seem to have developed something of an earache which is, apparently, not an infection. I pick up medication tomorrow.

I got to see some of the family back in MI, which was nice. Everyone seems to be doing well. I’d forgotten that mosquitos can be as big as my thumbnail though. We haven’t seen any up here yet, which is perfectly fine by me. The weather has been great, as usual. The last couple of days have had a bit of rain which is interesting because it doesn’t LAST, including the water on the ground.

Our anniversary is coming up next week (9 years!) and we got each other a sweet anniversary gift to help take the sting out of the house fuckery. Details on that later.

I start classes in a couple of weeks and it sounds like Spouse is planning a House Project. We’ll see how far that gets.

“I wanna go FAST.”

We didn’t just SURVIVE skiing, we actually had a blast. We went to Ski Cooper (best kept skiing secret in the Rockies) and – first things first – took a lesson. We had a great teacher (Liz Mathieu, if you’re interested) and she  took us through everything she could in 2 hours. I’m not really sure how people just slap on skis and get on a mountain but let me tell you what, I’m hella glad I didn’t. It was snowy and overcast, so we pretty much had the hill to ourselves. Plenty of room for practicing and then Spouse and I tackled the intermediate hill.

My boots were just a smidge too big and all this damn yoga has given me excellent posture, so I probably had the biggest adjustments to make. I had a hard time leaning into the skis, because of the boots, and my tendency is to keep my upper body nice and straight. These two things make for crazy and out of hand speed – which I LOVED. Turns out the speed is less terrifying (though no less exhilarating) when you’ve got more control so the intermediate hill is what it took for me to ‘get’ the leaning forward. I had a couple of spectacular wipeouts but the snow was so soft that it was like falling on a mattress. It was, in a word, fantastic.

Last night was a busier Tuesday than usual and today I’m taking the girls to Salida. Probably more pictures in the works (since I’ve gotten way off schedule) but there is only one ski photo and I’ll have to get that from Slim. Also there may be another tattoo in the works.

Not much of an update

If you were following twitter today, you know all the news. Mom’s surgery went well, she should be coming home tomorrow morning. They won’t know for sure about radiation for a couple of days but it looks like she may not need it.

I’m home, catching some z’s, and then headed back to the hospital in the morning.

Got to see Caribou and Matt, which was awesome. I wish they had moved to Colorado with us! Thank goodness for facebook and skype…

Superbowl with Mom

At home, it’s entirely likely that Spouse and I would be 1) hosting a Superbowl party, 2) attending a Superbowl party or 3) watching the Superbowl at the bar with some friends. A few years ago, when I was still in sales, I watched the Superbowl in Chicago at the ESPN Zone with my co-workers and got interviewed for the local news.

Watching the Superbowl with Mom is different, but still kind of awesome. We did all of our errands, bought all our supplies and now we’re sitting on the couch in our pajamas, eating crackers/cheese/salami. I’m drinking some Pinot Noir but since Mom’s pre-surgery she’s drinking water. We are contemplating doing our own pedicures. Totally laid back, totally girly, and still totally Superbowl.

Post-Christmas lack of ambition

Today we accomplished important task #1: putting me on  Spouse’s local bank account. That is pretty much all we did. We rented some movies, but have only watched one. Burn After Reading is an interesting and slightly bizarre film and totally worth watching just for Brad Pitt. I never thought I’d say that, but he’s just hilarious.

Up next: Hancock and Baby Mama.

Tomorrow: drive to Frisco and get my new driver’s license, as well as change over registration on vehicles and obtain Colorado plates.

When Mom and A left, they took the cold weather with them. Today was sunny and warm – 35 degrees. The snow on the roads has all melted, though it wasn’t enough to thaw all the rest of it. If you’ve looked at any of the photos, you’ll understand. Tomorrow is supposed to be just as sunny, though less warm. I’m very glad that I invested in good sunglasses.

I sent Mom home with an eclectic mix of music for her iPod. I’m interested to see how she’ll like it. Highlights included John Legend, Fergie, Adele, Rare Earth, The Eagles, The Beatles, Vampire Weekend, Gnarls Barkley, Sarah Harmer, and the Indigo Girls. There was a lot more, but I don’t recall everything.

My dad’s been on my mind a lot lately and it’s entirely possible that I’ll write about it tomorrow, but no promises.

I am looking forward to the house finally reaching ORDER and life returning to some semblance of a routine. As predicted, I’m a bit at a loss without my teaching schedule. Not only that, I’ve slacked on my own yoga practice for the last couple of weeks because of the acclimation. Someone sent me a yoga kick in the ass for Christmas, though, so I’m about to get back on the horse.

Best of: Thanksgiving

1. Macy’s Rickroll.

Love Comedy Central. They are full of epic win.

2. Home for the Holidays. Best holiday film ever. It’s hilarious no matter how many times I see it. The turkey part is particularly fabulous.

3. Me and mom hanging out, cooking OUR turkey and stuffing. Delicious and mellow. Loved it.

It wouldn’t be US moving if there weren’t complications

My mom was just diagnosed with papillary cancer. They are catching it early (luckily) and we’re hoping she won’t need radiation.

End week

I was absent from life yesterday because I was at a bridal shower in the Detroit area. Fun was had, punch was drunk, food was delicious.

It was nice to see that Phelps won his 8th gold. Hopefully he’ll start mentioning the names of all his relay partners in interviews. Dara Torres made an impressive showing with her silvers (and personal bests) which means she’ll be on the college speaking/motivational speaking for life.

Today’s my dad’s birthday so Mom and I are going to the Detroit Institute of Arts. It’s been more years than I can recall since I was there (I think there was a special Egyptian mummy exhibit) and they recently did a facelift, so I’m kind of excited to see what they’ve got going on. Not only that, but being in metro Detroit means I can finally get an honest-to-god Coney Dog.

Life is good.

I’ve been AWOL

We had a family wedding this weekend. In a weird coincidence, we got a phone call from a telemarketer bribing us to sit through a timeshare presentation in the SAME TOWN as the wedding so we went over the night before to sit through it.

I suspect that no one else will be shocked by the timeshare presentation but the fact that it took place in this VERY SMALL TOWN is totally bizarre. The bribe was airfare and three nights of hotel in any city with an international airport in North America. And he didn’t really say it was a timeshare presentation, just that it was a 90 minute presentation. When we got there, we discovered that our sales pitch guy used to play basketball with Spouse’s brother. We broke the news right away that we weren’t going to buy anything.

If you’ve never sat through a timeshare presentation, basically they try to convince you to buy a week of vacation time in one place (because you can use it to travel the world!). If you’ve got a low tolerance for dodgy hotels and a job that guarantees you won’t be shitcanned, it’s a great idea. Also, the city where you get the presentation is ALWAYS the MOST POPULAR destination which makes YOUR timeshare the MOST VALUABLE and then you can trade it to go ANYWHERE.

My mom has a timeshare. She loves it. But then she changed jobs and now doesn’t have enough vacation time to use the vacation weeks that she’s locked into paying for. Right.

So the bribe is really only airfare and TWO nights of hotel, plus you have to travel on a Tuesday, and you can’t travel on almost any holiday or 7 days before and after New Year. Also, it’s not FREE because you still have to pay $100-130 to get the “activation package”.

What am I trying to say here? It’s not worth sitting through these presentations. Ever. Really. We’ve sat through three now and they are all the same. And the ‘catch’ for the reward is the same. Where the hell are we going to go for two nights on a TUESDAY?

The wedding was nice. There was a lot of family, a lot of beer, and a lot of dancing. I suspect there is NOT video of me, Spouse and his cousin doing the Soulja Boy dance.

We can all agree this is a good thing.

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Naked family

I don’t work out “cute.”

All of the blood in my body runs to my face. I sweat like a center for the Detroit Lions. My clothes get soaked. It’s not attractive. This picture is a full 10 minutes AFTER my last sprint interval AND a 5 minute ride home WITH ALL THE WINDOWS DOWN. I was not markedly cooler. By the way, this is where I totally endorse Coppertone’s Sport Breathable Sunscreen (SPF 50, ultra sweatproof) because it really DOESN’T run in your eyes. It’s not just marketing! This is especially important to me because 1) sweat and 2) I wear contact lenses. Sunscreen in your eyes with contact lenses is like a week in the 7th circle of hell.

Back to sweaty… how gross and sweaty I was made me think, “It would be so nice to just go home, take a shower, and hang around the house naked all day.” (With towels on the couches, of course.) But we’ve got a roommate/boarder so that’s not really an option much to – I’m sure – everyone’s relief.

And that started me thinking about general nonsexual nakedness and a conversation I had with my friend Sarah the other day. I always thought I was a freak from a totally weird family because I’ve seen everyone in my immediate family naked.  Bodies weren’t a big deal in my house and it was nothing to have Mom and/or Dad walking around in various stages of undress. I mean, not in front of COMPANY or anything but growing up there were the four of us (three women) and ONE BATHROOM. You have NO PRIVACY. Not to mention that my sister’s idea of cooling off after a hot day at work was to come home, take off her shirt and bra, and flop down on the couch. LEAVING HER JEANS AND COMBAT BOOTS ON.

We really didn’t just wander around the house naked all the time. We were clothed more often than we weren’t, but if someone wasn’t wearing a shirt or pants (or occasionally underwear) it was pretty normal to us. I didn’t realize that MOST families aren’t like that until I went to college. Imagine my shock.

So every once in a while someone makes a comment, or I see a movie like Home for the Holidays, where some nonchalant parental nakedness happens and the kids aren’t scandalized and I figure there must be OTHER Naked Families out there. Probably like the Spanking Families, they’re just not talking about it.

By the way, if my mother ever discovers the internet I’ll be grounded for the rest of my life.

And there you go. That’s a little snapshot of how my brain works.

These are my running shoes:

They’re called Five Fingers from Vibram and have a hard formed sole to protect the bottoms of your feet. Though I’ll tell you brother that if you’re running on hot pavement, those suckers heat up in a few miles.

They are surprisingly comfortable and provide the best calf/foot/ankle workout I have EVER HAD. They’re super light and force me to run up on the ball of my foot, hence all the work. I tend to be a heel-toe girl (not quite sure how I ever managed to be a sprinter in high school with that running style) and heavy footed. These shoes FORCE me to lighten up.

They’re also great shoes for outdoor yoga or yoga on the road. All you need are some weight lifting gloves (or fancier ‘yoga’ gloves) and you’re all set – no mat required.

P.S. You can compare the ALARMING PALENESS of my legs to my EXTREMELY RED face above in order to compare the ridiculous blood flow. At least I know my arteries and capillaries work, right?

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